open loops

how to be a dumb!!

2008-03-05T08:26:00.000-08:00

so, you are reading this, that means you want to be a dumb :)
lets start...

step 1. behave like you are not getting anything.
step 2. ask same questions more then 5 times ( you can use larger nos ).
step 3. ask questions like "what's you name, [person's name]".
step 4. ask for water cooler while drinking water from it.
step 5. go for a morning walk in the evening...hahahha :)
step 6. eat lunch at night, and dinner in the morning.

any more points?? pls do share thru comments.

why nigeria, ethiopia are poor??

2008-01-21T01:54:00.000-08:00

well, economists can have different opinions about the economic condition of these countries (nigeria, ethiopia etc). but i have got a different opinion about this.
i get daily about 5-10 emails from rich/officials of these countries asking me to claim my money from their banks. moreover, some emails promise to send me hundreds of kilograms of pure gold or gold dust. so far, i've averaged around $50 millions per day!!

they are throwing their money to us. this is the main reason for poor economic condition of these countries. lol.. :) :)

make friends and use them

2008-01-01T05:56:00.000-08:00

some interesting taxonomy of friends are:-

temporary :- these friends come into life and go like a 15 seconds ad on prime time show.
casual :- these are only show up occasionally, just like frogs in rainy season.
parasite :- these kind of friends can't even fill a simple form without you.
possessive :- you always think of 15th Aug ( or Independence day of your respective country), when they are around you.
for-profit :- these are like MNCs, they will behave as a friend only if they can get something of value out of you. don't expect anything from them.

well, only 5 types for the time being. if we do more categorization there will be more than 100 kind of them. and yes, all of the above are in fact not friends...just following the cliche "make friends and use them".

back in black

2007-12-23T10:10:00.000-08:00

back in black, i hit the sack,
i've been too long, i'm glad to be back
yes i'm let loose from the noose,
that's kept me hangin' about
i been livin like a star 'cause it's gettin' me high,
forget the hearse, 'cause i never die
i got nine lives, cat's eyes
abusing every one of them and running wild

'cause i'm back! yes, i'm back!
well, i'm back! yes, i'm back!
well, i'm baaack, baaack...
well, i'm back in black,
yes, i'm back in black!

well, i'm back! yes, i'm back!
well, i'm back! yes, i'm back!
well, i'm baaack, baaack...
well, i'm back in black,
yes, i'm back in black-ow!

aww yeah! let's go!
keep on goin'! yeah yeah!
yeah... aww yeah yeah!
here we go!

thanks ac/dc.. for the song.

so, from a loooong off...i'm baaaack...stay tuned!!

meeting minutes

2007-11-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

backbencher1 and backbencher2 were in the meeting. (bb1 and bb2 hereafter)

(15 min after starting the meeting)

bb1 was already lost somewhere else.
bb2 was scratching his head.
bb1 looked at bb2...and chuckled..
bb1 got a text after 5 min, obviously from bb2.
'boring'
bb2 chuckled..

(30 min after starting the meeting)

bb1 got an sms
'phek raha hai '
bb1 sent an sms to bb2 in reply.
'yes...bloody..******'

(45 min after starting the meeting)

bb1 texted.
'pakdo......maro'
bb2 replied.
'maro'

(1 hr after starting the meeting)

bb2 texted.
'kuch nahi ho sakta'

still meeting continued..thereafter

hey!! what are you doing??

2007-11-20T04:23:00.000-08:00

he must be a super geek (his geek score is 99/100, i bet!!).
poor girl!!

all men are dogs and all women are cats

2007-11-13T01:10:00.000-08:00

lately, i've read a quote. it goes like 'all men are dogs & all women are cats'.

so, i've explored some characteristics of dogs and cats thru web. so what i found is here:-

dogs are kind, protective, cuddly, handsome, smart, playful, loyal and unconditionally loving
cats are self-absorbed, demanding, controlling, and abusive in short, cats are jerks.
bad news is, all men are not dogs, if all men were dogs, this world would be a wonderful place. unfortunately, some men are men, not dogs.
it’s common knowledge that many women respond positively to jerks, 'nice guys finish last' and all that.

so, waddyah think guys n gals about all this !!

p.s. disclaimer :- it's not my opinion. i think both are adorable in different ways :)

what's natural

2007-11-07T21:18:00.000-08:00

moon shadows
autumn aromas
kid giggles
white swans
wet spots
warm towels
crunchy snow
morning breath
birth
children
tears
love
goosebumps and shivers
cold floors
cheese
content
wind on a fall day
rushing clouds
sunlight on a distant mountain
dog lying on the floor
soft breasts
pubic hair
laugh lines
salt smell in the air
rain
taking your shoes off
tears
someone singing
feel of grass on your feet
kids answers
mouth watering in anticipation for chocolate

heart shifting with music
the smell of laundry dried in the sun
jasmine
sleeping in cozy quilts
lunch bags
fallen leaves
swings
some deaths
glaciers
caress
kiss
fart
imagination
daydreaming
physical expression
birds in flight
laughing
gray hair
telling your real age
messed up toothpaste tubes
old socks
thunder
waves

a smart kid

2007-11-06T07:27:00.000-08:00

a first-grade teacher, ss. prema, was having trouble with one of her students. the teacher asked, ' gopi, what's your problem?'
gopi answered, 'i'm too smart for the 1st grade. my sister is in the 3rd grade and i'm smarter than she is! i think i should be in the 3rd grade too!'
ms. prema had enough. she took gopi to the principal's office.
while gopi waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. the principal told ms. prema he would give the boy a test. if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. she agreed.
gopi was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
principal: 'what is 3 x 3?'
gopi: '9.'
principal: 'what is 6 x 6?'
gopi: '36.'
and so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. the principal looks at ms. prema and tells her, 'i think gopi can go to the 3rd grade'
ms. prema says to the principal, 'let me ask him some questions.'
the principal and gopi both agreed.
ms. prema asks, 'what does a cow have four of that i have only two of?'
gopi, after a moment: 'legs.'
ms. prema: 'what is in your pants that you have but i do not have?'
the principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
gopi replied: 'pockets.'
ms.prema: 'what does a dog do that a man steps into?'
gopi: 'pants.'
the principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
ms. prema: 'what does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
gopi: 'shake hands.'
the principal was trembling.
ms.prema: 'what word starts with an 'f' and ends in 'k' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
gopi: 'fire truck.'
the principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'send gopi to iim ahmedabad, i got the last five questions wrong.

on skeptics and skepticism

2007-11-06T02:19:00.001-08:00

In ordinary usage, skepticism

1. an attitude of doubt toward a particular object.
2. the doctrine that true knowledge or knowledge in a particular area is uncertain.
3. the method of suspended judgment.

In philosophy, skepticism refers to:

1. the limitations of knowledge,
2. a method of obtaining knowledge through systematic doubt and continual testing,
3. a method of intellectual caution and suspended judgment,

In classical philosophy, skepticism refers to the teachings of those who said that they "asserted nothing but only opined".

In religion, skepticism refers to "doubt concerning basic religious principles like immortality, providence, and revelation etc.

machine or man or machine

2007-11-03T04:39:00.000-07:00

Grand Master Turing once dreamed that he was a machine. When he awoke he exclaimed:

"I don't know whether I am Turing dreaming that I am a machine, or a machine dreaming that I am Turing!"

i saw her

2007-11-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

i saw her. she was in red lehanga (gypsy skirt), yellow choli (blouse) and a red chunari. her earings were long green colored stones curved in artistic manner. tattoos were on her face.

her hands were full of bangles of infinite colors, looking like hundreds of rainbows. her shoes were fabulous pieces of art. drops of sweat were sparkling like diamonds on her forehead.

but...

she was with an old snakecharmer, who was begging few bucks from the people. and she was just following him...

doing it without doing it

2007-10-31T08:05:00.000-07:00

more than 80 million years without sex!! and still exist on the earth. bdelloid rotifer has been living like this for last 80 million years. guess what's more; there are no males in this species. female bdelloid rotifer can reproduce alone.
so, next time while you enjoy "doing it", just think if same happens with us, then what will be the repercussions.

if i were a boy

2007-10-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

if i were a boy, i would:

~ comment on girls.
~ drink like a fish.
~ use hard language as much as i can.

hmmm, these are the secret confessions of a girl. but not secrets anymore..

btw, if i were a girl; i would make dozens of bfs...:). thanks to bebeee's admirer!! for the great idea.